“When are you going to get a boyfriend?”, “Surely there must be someone in your life right now?”, “Are you sure you’re okay being single? You must get so lonely?”
There are two ways I could answer these questions. One, I could explain how guys always seem to have another agenda and that just when I start to get excited about the potential of something they pull the life support on me. Or two, I could just smile, giggle and make some joke about how I’m still swiping to find my dream man. Yeah, the second option is probably less aggressive.
The family dinners are always the worst because there I am as the seventh (let me spell that out for you; s-e-v-e-n-t-h) wheel. Mum and dad sit there all cute, sister 1 is being affectionate with her boyfriend while sister 2 is macking on her with her boyfriend who also happened to be my bully in high school (great times). And then there’s just me sitting there awkwardly like “hello, it’s me. Let me just talk to my imaginary boyfriend”.
But in all seriousness I am okay. And there are multiple reasons why it’s okay to be single.
1. I can watch what I want on Netflix, when I want and don’t have to worry about what he wants to watch. It makes me feel very independent and like I am the OG number one bitch.
2. If I don’t want to shave and feel like wearing a baggy jumper and eat fatty foods, then I will and no man is going to guilt trip me in looking good just to boost their self-esteem. *Shout out to the guy who called me chubby on a date xoxo*.
3. I have full reign on what I do on my weekend and nights out. I can go where I want and leave the club when I want. There’s no saying no to doing things with friends because he “doesn’t want to do that”.
4. I get to find out firsthand what Tinder does next to “improve” my dating life through their updates, which is super interesting because apparently they thought group chats were important. Side note; it wasn’t and I’m still unsure if the idea behind it was for orgy’s or not.
And the most important of them all….
5. You get your bed all to yourself. So yes, I can sleep like a starfish, roll around if I feel like exercise halfway through the night, eat ice cream in bed not worrying if I spill any and sleep diagonal if I feel like it. Do you know why? Because I don’t have a guy who is going to clench me like a monkey and not let go.
You shouldn’t let your happiness be defined by having someone in your life intimately. Trust me, I’ve been there and let someone get to that place where I let them define my happiness. But then he left me for someone else and it took me over a year to not think of myself as damaged goods. And honestly that is the worst feeling. You constantly find yourself picking out the negatives in all situations and start accepting the bad experiences because you think you deserve it. Then the thoughts start coming up like; “Am I going to always be single”, “Am I unlovable?” and you wonder how you even got here in the first place.
Then you remember back to the car drive when your hand was sitting on his shoulder as he was driving and you’re like “oh yeah”. Since that experience I have been the rebound, the temporary before he goes away, the booty call and the subject of two stage 11 clingers.
Looking back at all of these experiences I’m glad they happened because I’ve grown as a person. Yeah they may have sucked at the time, and still hurt a bit when you think about them while listening to Taylor Swift, but it’s made me appreciate my independence. I’m single and that’s okay.